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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?